I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
