It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Moan for me like Helen Keller
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
