I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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