hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
