I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
