Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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