and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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