that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sober January is a disaster.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize