Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
