There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
