I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
