I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
