So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
