eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
