I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
