i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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