So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize