So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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