It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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