He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dignity is for republicans.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
