just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize