Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
