"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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