I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
