She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
