So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
