girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
