Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
