You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
