Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
