At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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