Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
