How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
