She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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