my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
