i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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