Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
