forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
