The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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