I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
