You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
