Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
