i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
