These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
