The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
