What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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