Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
