MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
