She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
