I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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