I'm drive I can fine osifer
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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