I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
