Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
