So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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