you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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