Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
