come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize