she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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